"We are heroic, and often chaotic"

25 November 2001, 17:37 GMT

So says Flapsoft Development Manager Toby Smalls.

"This is a glowing endorsement for our in-house development process," Smalls enthused, sipping lukewarm tea from his favourite, six-month-old polystyrene cup.

Capability Maturity Model, or CMM, is a way of measuring the effectiveness of a company's software development process. CMM is a simple measurement from 1 to 5, as follows:

Level 1: Initial
The software process is ad hoc, and occasionally even chaotic. Few processes are defined, and success depends on individual effort and heroics. Frequent late nights and hollow, sunken eyes are common. Programmers at each others' throats. Managers mostly very angry.

Level 2: Repeatable
Should a similar project be run, it would probably be just as chaotic. Team leaders have slim control over the programmers. Project manager has installed MS Project, and printed out reams upon reams of Gantt charts which have already started to block doorways and commonly used pathways, e.g. from "zoo" area to kitchen. More late nights than not. Programmers generally civil to each other, but often murmur discontentedly behind each others' backs. Managers have bouts of rage during progress update meetings.

Level 3: Defined
The software process is documented, standardized, and integrated into a standard process for the organization. Managers express keenness to use the process for any new projects, as soon as all the current projects are finished. Programmers spend more time filling out forms than writing software.

Level 4: Managed
Accurate metrics are collected for each project, as and when it fails. Detailed "post-mortems" explain why the organization's standard process was not used yet again. Programmers spend large proportion of day updating CV and hanging around the popular job sites.

Level 5: Optimizing
A miracle worker was passing by one night. Programmers angry because most of the jobs out there are made-up.

"At first," Flapsoft Development Manager Toby Smalls explained, "we approached the whole thing with not a little trepidation and distrust. We've been developing bespoke systems here for years, and there seems very little point in spending time on customer satisfaction, as we never, ever get the same customer twice. Fickle bunch that they are."

"Anyway," he continued, "we approached this company that needed a medical database produced, and they wanted to know more about how we develop our software - like what CMM level we're at! Well, none of us here had even heard of CMM, so after a brief study (plus of course the mandatory brainstorming session) we decided to get some independent auditors in to assess our CMM level."

"Well," he continued, "after being here for just one afternoon (that was all it took!), the auditor passed his verdict. He said that our system relies on programmer heroics, and that our programmers are all totally burned out from relentless over-work and bullying managers. He then said that we're definitely, without a shred of doubt, right up there at CMM Level 1. It was a proud moment, I can tell you."

But isn't Smalls worried that his company is still at the very bottom rung of a big, tall ladder?

"Granted," he replied, "if we felt the need to improve our process, we'd be concerned. But the fact that we've achieved any CMM level at all is good enough for me. This achievement is emblazoned all over our company website."

He added: "None of our programmers have any sort of social life! They live, breathe software. Many of them sleep over in the office, on a regular basis. Not too much sleep, mind! Just a quick couple of hours, then the cleaners come in and wake them up. Then they're off again for another glorious day of rapid typing. That's another thing - if we see programmers talking to each other for too long, or scribbling notes, drawing lines and boxes or whatever, we come down on them like a big tub of bricks. If they're not typing source code, they're not working. It's as simple as that!"

So the company is happy with CMM Level 1 then?

At that moment the Flapsoft CTO walked in. "We see this as a glowing endorsement of our advanced, highly fluid development system," he boasted proudly. "It speaks volumes about our in-house expertise, that we didn't have to change a thing to get to this level. We shall be wearing our Level 1 badges with pride."

"We're number one!!" shouted an excited intern, running past waving a CMM One flag.

Elsewhere on the Web - Related Things:

Carnegie Mellon: Software Capability Maturity Model

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